Wow! It’s been a while since I have written anything. To be honest, I have been in a bit of a funk. Things have been very busy and stressful at work, as well as in my personal life; and I have found myself in somewhat of a rut. Well, it’s time to start living again and there’s no time like the present, right?
After many months of introspection I have discovered that I have become a creature of habit. Now I have always known that I like what I like, but these days it’s become a little ridiculous. I frequent a rotation of restaurants and I always order the exact same menu item at each (every time, no exception!). At one restaurant, they don’t even bother bringing a menu, they just know my order.
I take the exact same route to work each day. Everything is in its proper place in my house. I even sit in the same spot to watch TV in the evenings, although I live alone and there are plenty of seats with fine TV viewing opportunities. I sleep on the same side of the bed each night although I sleep alone. I’m getting very predictable, and this is really starting to bug me!
The other thing I realized, or have known for a while but have come to terms with and want to change, is that I have been living in the land of FEAR.
This one is a little tough because I’m not actually sure what I’m afraid of, I just know that there has been some element of fear in my life and it keeps me from doing things. Is it the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or perhaps even fear of success? Who know’s, but I do not like it AND I don’t know where this fear came from – it just arrived one day, moved in and made a nice home inside my body and will not move out!
There was a time in my life when I wasn’t afraid of anything. I’d take chances and risks; nothing and nobody scared me. But now, it’s just there, stopping me from moving forward in my life.
After some thought, I believe these two things are closely linked. I know that I’ve developed this little cocoon of comfort to make me feel safe, but this safety net has now actually become so tangled and confining that it’s strangling me.
So here’s the deal – I have decided that I am going do something NEW each day, and at least once a week I’m going to
try to DO something that either makes me uncomfortable or that I’m afraid of. I’ll start out small and build each week and see where this all takes me. I’m hoping for something amazing – because I’m amazing, and I deserve an amazing life, right?