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Getting to know Me again

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my life, and one that I will now always remember, is that I can’t continually put my ideas and dreams on the back burner for someone else – no matter how much I love them. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that relationships are all about compromise, but there are some things that just shouldn’t be compromised. And the things that make you “you”, definitely shouldn’t.

Looking back, I’ve done this periodically throughout my life. I want to make my partner happy, and sometimes I didn’t think about what I wanted or what I enjoyed; but instead I hung out with “his” friends, went where “he” wanted to go, listened to “his” type of music, and did what “he” wanted to do in an effort to have a happy marriage. Soon enough I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror.

This September marks the 5th anniversary of being single, again, following a 7-year marriage; and I have to tell you I am really enjoying getting to know ME again.

I’m writing. I’m traveling. I’m singing. I’m hanging out with MY friends again. I’m doing all those things I neglected.

In listening to this beautiful song by Mandy Moore, it seems she has been guilty of this as well.  She and Chantal Kreviazuk wrote this incredible song about taking the time to get to know yourself again. You can really hear the emotion in her voice.

Take a listen – you won’t be disappointed.  I’ve also posted the lyrics below.

Gardenia
Well, I put so much thought into getting ready
Now I know that was the best part
It’s so easy to get caught up in what I’m regretting
Forget what I got from a wounded heart

I’m the one who likes Gardenia
I’m the one who likes to make love on the floor
I don’t want to hang up the phone yet
It’s been good
Getting to know me more

I’ve been seeing all my old friends in the city
Walking alone in Central Park
Doing all the things that I’ve neglected
Traded ’em all in
To be in your arms

I’m the one who likes Gardenia
I’m the one who likes to make love on the floor
I don’t want to hang up the phone yet
It’s been good
Getting to know me more

Well, I hear my own voice
Sounds so silly
Keep on telling my story all around
Everything I lost seems so different
Well, this is how everybody gets found

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2 thoughts on “Getting to know Me again

  1. Deborah, what a beautiful post! I am celebrating 5 years of a new 2nd marriage this September. It was difficult for several years because I moved here from the mid-west and left my entire family– including my grown sons and grandson, and all of my own friends.

    I completely understand what you mean about not doing what you enjoy because you loose yourself in doing all the things “he” enjoys. I find myself never dressing up to go… well… anywhere, because my hasbands idea of “dress-up” is his Khaki Cargo pants with a nice casual top and his tan saude Vans.

    I don’t think people have to wear black-tie event clothing every time they go out, but a few times a year for a special night out would be great!

    My husband doesn’t enjoy “any” sort of event in which he would even be required to wear slacks, so he never even suggests we go to any… even though he knows I love them occassionally.

    Well, I did talk to him about this problem a few weeks ago and low-and-behold, he went out and bought a pair of slacks and lofers!

    • Hi Dina, thanks so much for your thoughtful message. I am glad to hear things are working out well with your 2nd marriage – I love that he went out and purchased slacks and lofers! That’s awesome! I’m looking forward to checking out your blog too.

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